Lent Reflection - Day 2

I probably didn't listen to them because of G-funk's hair

A few years ago, Toni Ruth and I were talking about music - specifically about her accusations that I'm a musical "elitist" (a well-founded and true accusation, by the way).  She was surprised to learn that there was a substantial gap in my musical knowledge - I have not really listened to Simon and Garfunkel.  Besides what I've heard on the radio and in public places, I've never really paid them any attention.  And as an amateur music nerd (especially when it comes to classic rock and all its tributaries, including folk), I should be familiar with Simon and Garfunkel. 

I'm kind of feeling the same way about the book of Hebrews.  I'm currently on chapter 12 and I've been really surprised by three things in Hebrews:

1. How familiar so much of it is, even though I've not really studied it in any kind of in-depth way.  I've heard or said so many of the verses in the book, but I've learned that I've typically heard/said them out of context.
2. I've been surprised by how important Hebrews is to a Protestant understanding of salvation.  You only really need Romans and Galatians to go along with it and it's not too difficult to find all you need for a sufficient Protestant account of how God saves people through Jesus' death and resurrection.
3. I'm actually pretty shocked that Paul was long considered to be the writer of Hebrews.  Totally different style and points of emphasis. 

So, that's all pretty academic stuff and given what I said yesterday, I need to pay some attention to the 'devotional' aspects of all this.  It ain't that hard to do with Hebrews 12.  For example, here's verses 1-2:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

If you're a disciple of Jesus, you're in it for the long haul.  The life of faith isn't a sprint, but a long distance journey.  This is what I find so compelling and encouraging about how United Methodists understand sanctification - the lifelong process of God's grace at work through the presence of the Holy Spirit in us, perfecting us in love.  The whole time, we are looking to Jesus, who has run this race to completion and showed us the path that we are to follow.

The writer of Hebrews also reassures us that we are not running alone.  We are surrounded by a "cloud of witnesses" who have run or are running the race alongside of us.  That's why in 10:24-25, the writer says,

And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I'll make a deal with you - if you'll pray for me today as I'm seeking to run the race and keep my eyes on Jesus, I'll pray for you as you do the same…

Lent Reflection - Day 1

I've made it through Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus in my reading plan. Genesis and Exodus were enlightening while Leviticus was, predictably, a bit tougher to get through.  Numbers starts out looking to be just as tough as Leviticus (though I know that Numbers includes a lot of narrative stuff).

The first chapter is the reporting of a census of the 12 tribes for the purpose of figuring out how many able-bodied men are available for battle. The Hebrews are getting ready to enter the land that God promised them and they will need to be ready for a fight. Chapter 2 gives more details about the military arrangements.

At the end of chapter 1, something caught my attention. I'm trying to intentionally set aside my more 'academic' questions as I'm doing my daily reading.  Instead, I'm trying to think about Scripture more devotionally, imaginatively, and prayerfully.*  So, Numbers 1:53 says that "the Levites shall perform the guard duty of the tabernacle of the covenant."  If Exodus and Leviticus teach us anything, it's that God means business when it comes to worship.  This is serious stuff and God will not be trifled with. Given the already sketchy history of Hebrew worship (golden calf, anyone?), it's not a surprise that God is really detailed about worship requirements nor is it a shock that God sets aside one whole tribe to serve as security for the worship space.

I started thinking about how good a job I do 'protecting' worship.  Do I treat the worship of Almighty God with the respect and reverence it deserves?  Do I give worship preparation, worship leading, and worship participation the attention it deserves?  The ancient Levites were tasked with protecting the worship space against attack from the various tribes and nations surrounding the Hebrew people - it's not very likely that I will have to stave off attacks from the Hittites or the Jebusites here in Harrisburg.  So, what might be the threats to worship for the people of Harrisburg UMC?  What 'enemies' do I need to be mindful of?  There are surely more than what I'm going to list, but here are three that come quickly to mind.  Feel free to do your own reflection about what threatens to derail your worship.

• Distractions - I probably don't need to explain too much here. Phones, tablets, e-readers, Apple watches, etc.  As a pastor, this is a tricky thing to deal with - I'm not an entertainer and I realize that for most people, texting/games/Twitter is usually more interesting than what I'm preaching about or singing Love Divine All Loves Excelling again (that's my favorite hymn, by the way, so you better put your phone down when we're singing that one...).  But, I truly believe that we are robbing ourselves of something really meaningful when we choose to immerse ourselves in the digital to the neglect of the incarnational.  
• Entitlement - it really should go without saying that worship is not about me or you. It's even less about our personal preferences. But, you know, here we are. If one of my church members wants the old fashioned hymns and another member wants modern praise and worship, it's awfully hard to make both happy.  And if I work to try to please both of these people, it will make it really difficult for me to prepare a worship service that's pleasing to God.
• Lack of Expectation - God is everywhere, always present, always moving.  God's grace is always and in every situation going before us - inviting us to a deeper relationship and greater love. What's lacking is our awareness.  Our presence in the present.  As a preacher and worship leader, one of my tasks is to invite my congregation to awareness through worship.  It's almost impossible to lead a person to awareness who is completely convinced that they are going to be bored and that nothing will change.  If, however, a worshiper is convinced that they will experience the presence of God in worship, it doesn't really matter the style of music or the style of preaching or the clothing choices of the pastor/congregation (within reason, of course) - that person is going to be aware of God's presence if the worship leaders are taking their roles seriously.  One of my jobs is to take my task as worship leader and preacher seriously - to protect that time and that place so that people who come expectantly may experience the Spirit of God in worship.

* I'm fully aware that an 'academic' reading can also be imaginative and prayerful. I'm just saying that my goal in my daily reading is more about spiritual growth and less about intellectual pursuit.

Reflections During Lent - Ash Wednesday

I'm really bad about keeping a daily discipline for any length of time.  I have tried to do daily or weekly blog posts a number of times and every single time I give up after 3 or 4 entries.  I can offer a lot of excuses that all sound really valid - there's a lot going on and a lot of stuff that invites my attention pretty much all the time.  Some of the stuff is absolutely necessary (sermon writing, family time, bathing…), but some of it is just easier than posting a daily blog (catching up with the latest news about Star Wars Episode 8, playing guitar, watching Netflix, etc.)

Today marks the beginning of Lent, a season of repentance and, hopefully, a season dedicated to the deepening of discipline.  This year, I've been following a 'Read the Bible in a Year' plan and I've been faithful to the plan thus far.  And each day, I spend a few minutes writing down my thoughts about that day's reading.  As I think about Lent and my (thus far) successful Scripture reading, I sense an opportunity for me to deepen my discipline.

So, here it is: each day during Lent (with the exception of Sunday), I'm going to try to be faithful to read that day's reading and post a few thoughts about the reading.  Some days, it will be very short.  It might a few simple questions to ponder, it might be a few lines of poetry (that's already happened in my journal - be prepared for some fumbling attempts at poetry…), or it might be some theological reflection.  The point is that I'm going to try to see this thing through. 

If you want to read along (or if you like the idea of holding me accountable for a daily post), you are cordially invited to do so…

God's Wide Mercy

"The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made." Psalm 145:8-9

Over the past few years, my appreciation for the Old Testament has grown exponentially. Probably my favorite theme of the Hebrew Scriptures is the change in the conception of the reach of God's blessing and mercy on the part of the Hebrew people. For much of the Old Testament, the Hebrew people see themselves as specially blessed because they are chosen by God. The descendants of Abraham quickly forget that they were chosen to be a blessing for the world, not to simply be blessed.  Not to trivialize the covenant, but the Hebrew people were chosen by God for a specific task, kinda like when I was growing up and I was "chosen" to clean up the kitchen or take out the trash.

There's a slow development in the Old Testament (if you are going by when these books were likely written) that moves from a limited understanding of God's mercy ("God is merciful to Israel") to a broad understanding ("The Lord is good to all…").  You see this reflected in many of the prophets, especially Isaiah and Jonah.  Of course, this is tied up the Jewish response to exile and a growing understanding of the larger world, moving from regional skirmishes to being in the middle of clashes between Empires. 

As a Christian, I understand Jesus as the way God has blessed all of creation - freely offering love and grace and mercy.  Jesus is the culmination and embodiment of God's steadfast love and compassion.  And what makes the crucifixion so tragic is that it shows how humanity responds to the grace, mercy, and love of God, especially when that grace, mercy, and love is offered to all people.  It can be a subversive, counter-cultural, and even dangerous thing to offer compassion and love to all people.  It can be a risky thing to offer love without regard for difference - and it breaks my heart that many of the people who resist abundant love and no-strings-attached compassion are the same people who claim to be disciples of the One who teaches us what unbounded love looks like.

For what it's worth, I'm sticking with Jesus…

I Should Have Learned By Now...

Earlier this morning, my 10-year-old daughter finished running her third 5K.  I am as proud of her as I've been of anyone in my entire life.  For one thing, I NEVER would have done that when I was her age.  I don't think that I had a tenth of her perseverance and commitment when I was in 5th grade.  For as long as I can remember, I've had as a regular conversation partner in my head a voice that says: "You can't do that."  I've heard that voice in my head specifically related to physical fitness and health.  I've spent much of my life defining myself as lazy, unmotivated, and out of shape.  Granted, in the last few years, I've done a lot better - I've been more responsible with my eating habits and I've finished six 5K's in the last 5 years.  That's not nothing…

This morning I heard that voice again, but it wasn't about me.  It was about my daughter.  After she finished the race, she had the usual (and very rewarding) post-race euphoria and was talking about her future running plans: seven more 5K's (to give her 10 total), a 10K, and then a marathon*.  The voice in my head instantly spoke up: "she's not going to do that."  Fortunately, that voice did not leave my head.  I caught myself and said to my amazing daughter that it sounded like a great plan. 

If anybody's got a legit reason to back down, beg off,
and be lazy, it's Mary.  When she was 18 months old, we found out that she had a heart murmur and we were told that these things usually correct themselves over time.  However, after a particularly persistent FNP at her pediatrician's office insisted that we follow up about what she was hearing through her stethoscope, we made an appointment with a cardiologist.  Fast forward 18 months later, and we're taking our daughter to Baptist Hospital in Winston for open-heart surgery to correct an issue related to how the murmur 'fixed' itself.  (If you're interested, her problem is a called sub-aortic stenosis and she's most likely going to be having another surgery at some point in the next few years. Prayers appreciated.)  She came through the surgery with flying colors and was ready to play and run only 2 days afterwards. 

And now, here's my miracle of a daughter just finishing up her third 5K, each one of which required 6 or 7 weeks of training.  She's ten and the survivor of open-heart surgery.  And here I was, after journeying with her through so many things, thinking: "you can't do that."   I'm shutting that mess down now.  

I should have learned by now that my daughter is defined by her tenacity, her commitment, and a desire to accomplish her goals.  I should have learned by now that my daughter will not be limited by my own hesitation, doubt, and skepticism.  While I'm at it, I'm not going to let that voice tell me what I can and can't do anymore, either.  He's not telling the truth…

*Props to my big sister for showing me what's possible and for being such an inspiring example for my kids - you're awesome!  I think that when Mary talks about her future running goals, she's got you in mind...

Practice?! We're Talking About Practice?

As I was playing guitar one afternoon in preparation for praise team practice, I was struck by how boring practice actually is.  I mean, I've known this for a long time - I played a lot of Little League sports when I was a kid and I HATED practice.  When I began learning how to play guitar (over 20 years ago!), it was different.  I loved it, mainly because typically after a couple of hours, there was noticeable improvement, even though I'll admit that playing chord changes over and over and over again does get a little tiring.  I remember one afternoon sitting in my dorm room trying to figure out The Battle of Evermore by Led Zeppelin, slowly struggling through the chord changes.  After about 10 minutes of me playing disconnected and very rough-sounding approximations of chords, an angry voice from the floor below asked what I was playing. I can't repeat the actual wording of the inquiry.

During the first year of learning to play guitar, it got frustrating simply because there was so much I simply could not do.  After a while, my comfort level grew and I learned that by playing at least 10 minutes every day, those things that once seemed impossible would eventually be in reach. Take barre chords, for example.  These are chords that require you to hold down 5 or 6 strings on the same fret with one finger. Once you get comfortable with barre chords, it opens up a whole range of possibilities for what you can play.  But for a beginner, strengthening your hand enough to make a clean barre chord can be extremely frustrating.  I've known a couple of people who quit progressing (or playing altogether) because they simply couldn't get their barre chords to sound right.  My roommate (and first true guitar instructor) told me when I was struggling with barre chords that one day, it would simply happen.  You'd pick up the guitar thinking you couldn't play barre chords and then - all of a sudden - you were playing them.  This is exactly what happened to me.  One day, after months of working on it, I found that I was playing the chords with relative ease.  What made the difference? 

Practice.

There are good reasons why Christians talk about "spiritual practices" - those things we do to deepen and strengthen our faith:

1. Spiritual practices are not very glamorous nor do they often produce immediate results.  Years ago, I was serving in a church that was trying to start a praise service and I was asked to take the lead in putting the praise team together.  I had scheduled a first practice with several musicians in the church and I anticipated working tediously on 2 or 3 relatively easy songs.  It was going to be a boring hour and a half of chord changes, conversations about counts and tempos and verse-chorus-bridge.  You know, practice.  I found out a few days before that the whole church had been invited to that first practice of the praise team.  Not cool.  I didn't want a bunch of people watching us stumble through those songs - how could I ask these already-hesitant musicians to put themselves through that?  By the same token, we shouldn't invite people to take a front-row seat to watch our spiritual practices.  That's time for us to pray and stumble and try and mumble the same "I'm sorry's" to God.  That's what Jesus is getting at in Matthew 6:1.
2. Spiritual practices are designed to be repetitive actions that form and shape us to 'get in the game'.  Another early song I learned was Gallows Pole (by Led Zeppelin as well).  The chord changes are very fast in that song and by learning those changes, it helped me to learn how to move rapidly when playing.  But it took playing those chords over and over and over again.  If I had only tried to play that song a couple of times and then gave up because I didn't seem to be getting anywhere, my playing of any other songs would have suffered as a consequence.  Taking the time to get those chord changes right in that one song had a huge impact on the rest of my guitar playing.  The same is true of our spiritual practices.  We might find journaling or centering prayer or fasting to be awkward when we first try it, but if we persevere, it can have positive impact on the rest of our life. 
3. Practice reminds us that doing something well requires work and commitment.  I don't know how many times I've had people say to me: "I wish I could play guitar. I've always wanted to learn."  I'm always polite in my responses.  I fully understand the time and commitment it takes to learn an instrument.  But, I'm tempted to say in response: "You might have wanted to play guitar.  You didn't want to learn to play guitar."  If you want to learn to play guitar (or do pretty much anything, for that matter), it can be done.  You've got to work for it.  The same is true of discipleship.  So many of us want a better prayer life, to know the Bible better, to have greater discipline or patience or humility, etc.  What we want so often is the end result, but we resist the work it takes to get there.  Why?  Because it's slow and unglamorous and it takes time and commitment. 

So, today, find a quiet place to be for a few minutes, put down the phone, step away from the screen and practice…

Waiting for the Concrete to Dry

Blogging through Galatians was a bit of a bust. It was a promising start, but I faded somewhere around the middle of the second week. I can admit it - I'm a lousy blogger. Great intentions, not so much on the follow through. But, since it's all about Jesus, grace abounds (I hope). 

And so…hello Philippians!

"I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

Discipleship, sometimes...

For three summers in college, I worked for the NCDOT Bridge Maintenance Division in Rowan County. For a college student, it was a good job that paid pretty well. One of the jobs we did on a fairly regular basis was patching holes on bridges, which was especially fun on Interstate 85. We'd get to the site in the morning and after no small amount of deliberation, we'd patch the hole (which took around 2 hours, if memory serves). We'd break for lunch and then…wait for 2 hours. We were responsible for closing one lane of a very busy Interstate and if you drove by our crew around 1:30 in the afternoon, you'd see us standing around waiting for the new concrete to dry.

I was especially entertained by those motorists who felt it necessary to make comment about our activity level. I remember one man in particular, leaning out of his car window with a scowl, angrily yelling: "Get to work!" Many just looked our direction and shook their heads in frustration, surely thinking about their tax dollars going to waste.

Now imagine if we had opened that lane with the patch and a motorist had found themselves hitting a sizable hole filled with wet concrete going 80 mph. So, yeah, we stood around for a couple of hours while the concrete dried. Half of our crew left to go work somewhere else and those of us who stayed behind could only clean debris off the bridge so many times. And those who were uninformed about our work yelled and fumed, not realizing that waiting was a necessary part of completing the work.

Being a Christian is a journey that takes time. It actually takes a lifetime. And some of the work that God does in/through/on us is evident: repairing potholes in our lives, removing debris, pouring a new Spirit into us. 

Then there's the work that nobody can see and that most people don't understand. Our fellow Christians might even pass by us and want to yell: "Get to work!" But if God is working on you, trying to teach you something and you start moving before you're ready due to the expectations and demands of other people who don't understand what you and God are working on, there could be a lot of trouble. 

So much that God does in and with us is not seen or understood by other people. It can be quiet, slow work. Waiting for concrete to dry work. Cleaning off debris from our bridges, again and again. And at times, it's like taking a jackhammer to the damaged places - it feels like just more brokenness in the moment, but God doesn't leave us with an empty hole. Those broken places are cleaned and filled, stronger than before.

Just remember that there's some patience required, some standing around leaning on your shovel.

Don't lose heart.

Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength… (Isaiah 40:31a)