I Should Have Learned By Now...

Earlier this morning, my 10-year-old daughter finished running her third 5K.  I am as proud of her as I've been of anyone in my entire life.  For one thing, I NEVER would have done that when I was her age.  I don't think that I had a tenth of her perseverance and commitment when I was in 5th grade.  For as long as I can remember, I've had as a regular conversation partner in my head a voice that says: "You can't do that."  I've heard that voice in my head specifically related to physical fitness and health.  I've spent much of my life defining myself as lazy, unmotivated, and out of shape.  Granted, in the last few years, I've done a lot better - I've been more responsible with my eating habits and I've finished six 5K's in the last 5 years.  That's not nothing…

This morning I heard that voice again, but it wasn't about me.  It was about my daughter.  After she finished the race, she had the usual (and very rewarding) post-race euphoria and was talking about her future running plans: seven more 5K's (to give her 10 total), a 10K, and then a marathon*.  The voice in my head instantly spoke up: "she's not going to do that."  Fortunately, that voice did not leave my head.  I caught myself and said to my amazing daughter that it sounded like a great plan. 

If anybody's got a legit reason to back down, beg off,
and be lazy, it's Mary.  When she was 18 months old, we found out that she had a heart murmur and we were told that these things usually correct themselves over time.  However, after a particularly persistent FNP at her pediatrician's office insisted that we follow up about what she was hearing through her stethoscope, we made an appointment with a cardiologist.  Fast forward 18 months later, and we're taking our daughter to Baptist Hospital in Winston for open-heart surgery to correct an issue related to how the murmur 'fixed' itself.  (If you're interested, her problem is a called sub-aortic stenosis and she's most likely going to be having another surgery at some point in the next few years. Prayers appreciated.)  She came through the surgery with flying colors and was ready to play and run only 2 days afterwards. 

And now, here's my miracle of a daughter just finishing up her third 5K, each one of which required 6 or 7 weeks of training.  She's ten and the survivor of open-heart surgery.  And here I was, after journeying with her through so many things, thinking: "you can't do that."   I'm shutting that mess down now.  

I should have learned by now that my daughter is defined by her tenacity, her commitment, and a desire to accomplish her goals.  I should have learned by now that my daughter will not be limited by my own hesitation, doubt, and skepticism.  While I'm at it, I'm not going to let that voice tell me what I can and can't do anymore, either.  He's not telling the truth…

*Props to my big sister for showing me what's possible and for being such an inspiring example for my kids - you're awesome!  I think that when Mary talks about her future running goals, she's got you in mind...