Lent Reflection #5

So, I'm a little behind.  There are good reasons for this, but instead of spending time on explanations, I'd rather just push ahead and resume my (almost) daily blogging during Lent. 

He's probably not focused on getting
fatally stabbed by Darth Maul

My son is currently in the last stages (I hope) of recovering from the flu.  He's been feeling pretty worn down over the last few days and this has led to a LOT of screen time.  And since he is my son, a good chunk of this has been Star Wars.  Daniel was in the mood for the prequels, so I happily obliged.  While reading Numbers 12-14 today, a line from The Phantom Menace spoken by Qui Gon Jinn came to my mind.  He tells young Anakin: "always remember, your focus determines your reality."  This is one of those lines that Star Wars fans like to quote and other SW fans will nod their head solemnly as if it is unquestionable wisdom from on high. 

I was thinking about that quote while reading about the spies in Numbers 13 - it almost fits!  And it almost makes sense in our lives, too.  That is until we run headfirst into things that no amount of focus on our part will change.  Given a few seconds of thought, it becomes clear that our focus does not determine our reality.  It's more accurate to say that our focus determines our response to reality.  How does this connect to the spies in Numbers 13?  Their focus shaped what they saw in the land that they were sent to observe.  And it was fear that shaped their focus.  The reality was different than what they perceived - they thought they saw giants, Nephilim they were called.  They saw themselves as being as insignificant as grasshoppers in comparison.  There are some good lessons here about change and fear and perception. 

For me personally right now, this is a helpful thing to ponder.  My sweet, better-than-I-deserve daughter will be having heart surgery next month (this will be her 2nd heart surgery to remove excess tissue under her aortic valve) and in my fearful moments, I find myself acting a little bit like the spies.  I can easily make room in my head for fears and worst-case scenarios.  This is a normal reaction when facing difficult stuff and, to a certain extent,  it's a good thing to be aware of risks and dangers.  But, if like the spies, I allow my fears to determine my focus, then my focus will determine how I respond to reality.  I'm not going to let my fear determine my focus, because frankly, that would suck.

My next reading this afternoon was Colossians 2.  It was good to read that chapter after reading about the spies.  Here's what I found helpful today: "As you therefore have received Jesus Christ the Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.  See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit…"

When we allow fear to determine our focus, we're easy marks for empty deceit - we'll believe some pretty crazy stuff.  When we are fearful, we become desperate for someone to fix it, make it better, give us a way out or an excuse to give up.  I can honestly say that I'm not fearful about my daughter's upcoming surgery - I ain't happy about it, but I'm not afraid.  I trust her surgeon and the medical staff at the hospital and I also trust in God.  Because I am rooted and being built up in Christ, I want my faith, not my fear, to determine my focus.