One of
the misconceptions common to childhood is the idea that adults (or at least the
ones who are in some position of authority) know what they're doing at all
times. I shared in this delusion when I was younger and didn't really
understand how wrong I was until I had children of my own, at which point I
totally understood how many things I did not know and how many answers I did
not have.
I have
been reminded of this in a few church meetings in which an important decision
needs to be made or a direction needs to be discerned. It can be slightly
disconcerting for a young pastor early in their ministry when a question comes
up in a church council meeting and everyone's eyes turn towards you. When that
happened to me, I wanted to deflect the responsibility. I was waiting for somebody else to step up and take the lead. I assumed that there was a
grownup in the room that would have the answer and I was pretty sure that it wasn't me.
A
while back, I was in a meeting with some of our leaders at HUMC and we were discussing the church's
future. Someone asked the question:
"How do we figure out when it's time to stop reflecting and start
acting?" There were a number of wise people in this group - people with
decades of experience in leadership in their careers and in the life of the
church. And we didn't have a clear answer on that evening.
I was
thinking about all of this reading Luke 2 this morning. Two times, we are told
that Mary pondered what was happening in her heart. Given the momentous events
that she was a part of, I'm thinking that silent reflection was a necessity.
But Mary was not passive bystander. Mary, I think, struck a much-needed
balance. When God called her to act, she did so, acting on faith in God. Mary
was not a silent bystander in the events of Jesus' birth - all you need to do
is read Luke 1:46-55 to see how engaged she was with what was going on.
But
her active participation was balanced with deep reflection. Mary acted and she pondered what was happening in her heart. That's a balance that a lot of folks
struggle to find. Sometimes, we reflect and ponder and discern ourselves into
total inaction. We look up from gazing at our bellybuttons long enough find the
moment or the opportunity long since passed. And then we begin to ponder why we
missed that opportunity. Or we don't ponder anything or engage in any
reflection and act on impulse and instinct. And when we slow down, we might
begin to notice the wreckage in our wake.
If we
tried to be more like Mary in this regard, I'm thinking that our decision
making would be a lot healthier. Mary shows us that pondering and acting are
not mutually exclusive. We've got to ponder in our hearts to be aware of where
the Spirit of God is leading us and we've also got to be ready to move when and
where the Spirit moves. Even if we've got questions, even if there's fear and
anxiety, even if we're not able to guarantee complete success - our pondering
and our moving are both acts of faith in God and in what God is doing in our
lives, in the church, and in the world.
Part of what it means to be a mature adult and a mature Christian is knowing that you don't have all the answers and being willing to take risks - not based on foolish bravado or recklessness, but on a deep trust in the God that holds our lives in His hands. Part of being a mature adult is being willing to be patient, like Mary was patient, pondering what is happening in our hearts, and then being ready to move when God says move.
When will that be? I like what God tells Habakkuk: "...there is still a vision for the appointed time...if it seems to tarry, wait for it..."
May God help us wait patiently and act faithfully...
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